If you plan to travel to another country to bring home your child, and you already have other children at home, should you bring them along? That depends.
PROS:
- Parents aren’t the only ones bringing a new child into the family — siblings are, too. Bringing them along helps them feel like an integral part of the process and may lessen the chances of them feeling resentful.
- Giving the siblings the chance to bond with each other from day one may reap long-term benefits.
CONS:
- The addition of an extra person increases your expenses (and many parents are already financially strapped).
- Depending on the age(s) of your other child(ren), the comfort factor may come into play: long plane rides, difficult travel situations, unfamiliar culture, weird food (especially if you have picky eaters), strange accommodations and lack of personal space.
COULD GO BOTH WAYS:
- Giving your child(ren) the privilege of experiencing discomfort in an unfamiliar culture may be just the ticket for helping them learn to appreciate the things they take for granted at home. Once home, they may develop a special fondness for hot running water, flush toilets, driveable roads, and grocery stores stocked with everything their heart desires.
- On the other hand, if you suspect you’ll have to put up with constant whining and blubbering, you may be better off leaving the little buggers home.
- Some parents believe that their time spent in their new child’s country of origin gives them a precious opportunity to bond with their new child one-on-one. This is true. Parents should consider whether their other child(ren) need that special bonding time, as well.
I’d love to hear responses from parents who have traveled with and without their other child(ren). What worked for you? What didn’t work? If you had it to do over again, what would you recommend?
Inspiration for this post came from an article in the July/August 2005 issue of Adoptive Families magazine.
This article is also available at www.laurachristianson.com.
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My son was adopted domestically (Canada) but his birthparents were both born and raised in China. I sometimes think that I might eventually adopt number 2 from China and if I ever did, I would take my son along as I could basically “kill two birds with one stone” as it would also be an opportunity for him to see the country that his birth family originates from.