A reader who is adopting a 9-year-old asks:
What suggestions do you have for facilitating bonding with the son I will soon adopt? I want to make it a positive experience for both of us.
I’d like to hear from readers who have adopted older children. What works? What doesn’t work?
Please post your responses in the Comments area or e-mail me and I’ll pass along the information.
For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and
check out my Exploring
Adoption bookstore.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
I’m not sure if you have already adopted the child, but I was adopted when i was 9-years old and bonding with my foster parents before then was kind of easy because they were my aunt and uncle, but it was hard because i had a bunch of rules against my biological mother. I think if you want to bond with your child you should act as if they are your own child even though they know you are not the biological mother. but if you believe you are, you will convince them of it as well. You should give them information about who they came from early on because they will go through the period of “who am I, really?” and you will probably get annoyed with them badgering about their real parents. Don’t worry, they are like every other person and just want to figure out who they really are. Identity crisis happens a lot. I wish you the best and I hope everything goes well or went well. Remember to love them as if they are your own, but also allow them to get to know you before you push the fact that they are your child now.