Book Review: The Cruelest Con: The Guide for a S.a.F.E. Adoption Journey

When a family who seeks to adopt a child endures
a failed adoption, the experience is heart-breaking. When that loss occurs due
to an adoption scam, the experience is even more devastating. Would-be parents,
grieving for a child who never existed, feel victimized and misunderstood. The
exploited adoptive parents, who are often highly educated and business-savvy, now
mistrust their ability to make good decisions.

That’s exactly what happened to Kelly
Kiser-Mostrom and 43 other adoptive parents who were defrauded by Sonya Furlow,
who posed as an adoption facilitator and bilked the families out of over
$215,000. In The Cruelest Con, Kiser-Mostrom
details the appalling personal experiences she and her husband had with Furlow
during their three-year quest to adopt a second child. She offers S.a.F.E.
(Sonya Furlow Experience) Guidelines that will help prospective parents avoid
falling into the same trap as the author did.

One of the critical pointers I learned from
this book is that successful scammers usually have at least one satisfied
client – someone whose adoption they facilitated that turned out wonderfully.
This legitimizes the scam artist in the eyes of future clients and allows the
scammer to perpetrate their con more freely.

The author includes some helpful tips for
avoiding scammers, including: 

• Beware of facilitators who promise you a quick
  adoption… “there is no ‘Baby Store.’”
• Before hiring an adoption professional, check
  for complaints against the professional with the state Attorney General’s
  office, the state licensing agency, local police departments, Internet sites
  and the Better Business Bureau. Ask about pending liens, previous court
  settlements and previous criminal charges.
• Ask your adoption attorney (you can locate one
  from the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys to review all contracts before signing
  anything.
• When your adoption professional matches you
  with a prospective birth mother, don’t be afraid to request proof of pregnancy.
  If possible, meet the birth mother during her pregnancy. You are less likely to
  be scammed in an open adoption.
• If agreed-upon documents do not arrive in the
  mail as scheduled or “get lost,” start demanding answers from your facilitator.
• Save copies of all adoption-related correspondence,
  including empty envelopes with cancelled stamps, e-mails, receipts.
• Keep a journal of detailed conversations
  and/or a timeline.
• Think with your brain and not your heart. Watch
  for the following red flags:

1. A professional who avoids answering your
   questions
2. A professional who refuses to contact your
   attorney
3. A professional who doesn’t return your phone
   calls promptly
4. A professional who requires money upfront,
   threatening that you will lose the match otherwise

The last section of The Cruelest Con includes appendices listing resources for adopting
and a glossary of terms. While her self-published book is severely lacking in
correct punctuation and usage, Kiser-Mostrom’s story is worth reading; it’s a
wake-up call for all parents-to-be, particularly for those who plan to engage
the services of an adoption facilitator to complete an independent (private),
closed adoption.