Can A Couple Who Has Experienced Infidelity Fall In Love Again?

in Profiles

The final post in a 5-part series

This week we’re chatting with Melodie Fleming, an adoptive mom of two who co-wrote The Dance of Restoration: Rebuilding a Marriage after Infidelity.

How can a couple who has experienced infidelity fall in love again?
Many things must be navigated before love will again blossom in the marriage.

  • The affair must be completely severed.
  • The self-lies within the heart of the straying spouse must be faced and overcome.
  • Significant progress must be made in the three movements of the dance.

When these issues are in place, advancement toward emotional oneness can be made. Consistency, time, and trust in God can help the unfaithful spouse be patient and supportive as the wounded spouse grieves and heals. Forgiveness needs to be extended. Rediscovering actions and words that bring the emotion of love can help. Learning to incorporate God’s truth into one’s prayers, speech, and meditation can also help.

How does prayer play an important part in healing from infidelity?
In our sections on forgiveness and rebuilding emotional love, we allude to a technique of prayer that Abel uses with his clients for many types of issues. We are currently working on a book about this kind of healing prayer.

Are you and Abel Ortega available for speaking opportunities?
Abel is a frequent teacher, preacher, and seminar speaker. He also has his own call-in radio program. He recently restructured his counseling practice to allow for more speaking and writing opportunities. He is fluent in both English and Spanish and can make presentations in either language. He can be contacted at (956) 682-5132 or at his temporary email address: ortegaworld@juno.com.

I sometimes accompany Abel and am available on a limited basis for other engagements, such as women’s ministry events. However, due to the ages of my children and to my ministry commitments, I do not accept many invitations. I am, however, a freelance writer and will consider providing inspirational, devotional, or self-help articles for a variety of venues, including web sites. I also collaborate with Abel on a wide variety of topics within his area of expertise. I can be contacted at melodiefleming@sbcglobal.net.

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Dennis J. Schleicher November 29, 2006 at 4:29 PM

According to the 2001 Census figures more than 4 million married men are living a double life style. My support group, I run for gay married men who are looking to come clean to their wives. I have found that 98% of them practicing unsafe sex. When conducting affairs with members of the same-sex orientation.
All of us find ourselves in situations we tried to justify our misdeeds. After all, no one is perfect. I spent most of my life doing the right thing, so if I slipped up every now and then I chalked it up to human nature. In till this past year I went through life thinking of myself as a hero of sorts. I was willing to stand up and fight for my identity, exposing myself to condemnation and contempt of my family, friends, and coworkers because I am a homosexual man.
When I was growing up gay men were betrayed on screen either as cross-dressers trying to be women were a feminine men with the sachet walk yet. The majority of men of my sexual orientation are hiding the truth in passing as straight. Sadly, less than half of these men have the courage to reveal their homosexuality person who needs to know the most–they are straight wives. They fear the potential fallout–losing the children and the security of a family environment. The man who eventually tells the truth leaves his straight wife with an identity crisis. The revelation can trigger the shattering of her self worth accompanied by pain in the form of confusion, shame, anger, and damaged sexual self-esteem.
Forbidden Love with a Married Man; E-Mail Diaries by Dennis J. Schleicher is one of them most explosive memoir and New York Times bestseller I’ve ever seen.

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2 Kerri July 12, 2007 at 11:52 AM

I’ve been married for 13 years with two young daughters. I recently saw changes in my husband’s behavior. He started going out more after work, constantly texting on his cell phone. When his cell would ring he would jump to get it. He kept telling me it was a co-worker and it had to do with work. I questioned him about cheating, but he denied it. I needed answers and hard proof that my gut feelings were true and I wasn’t making it up. I ended up hiring AllState Investigations, which is a private detective agency. Well, to make a long story short, they caught him with another woman in a romantic relationship. Now I have pictures, video and a detailed report of everything that happened. To see his face drop was PRICELESS!!! It was such a good feeling to have physical evidence in my hands that he could NOT deny. Check out their website http://www.94.truth.com

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