In Part 1, guest columnist Beckie Stewart, a mother of four children ranging in age from 12-19, explained how her life turned topsy-turvy when she added an adopted infant to the mix.
By Beckie Stewart
One of the biggest issues I struggled with prior to adoption was the fear that I may not love my adopted child as much as my biological children. I found myself unable to share this fear with anyone but the Lord. It was discussed in some books and magazines, but not a lot.
After months of collecting all the necessary paperwork and waiting for information on an available child for us to adopt, we received a picture and short biography about a little girl from Kazakhstan, who was waiting for a forever family. The moment her picture came up on my computer, my heart pounded with excitement. I found my feelings for her were just like the day I gave birth to my other children. I knew I would sacrifice my life for this child.
That realization helped me understand how much my Heavenly Father loved me when He adopted me into His family. I can now confidently say, like Paul did in Romans 8:38-39, that I am absolutely persuaded that nothing can separate me from the love that the Father has for me.
It does not matter whether my daughter was born from my womb or not. She is my daughter, and I am her mother. Biological or adoption, being a mommy to a child is born in the heart, not in the belly.
The Lord is using this child to solidify in my heart what it truly means to love my children and to be loved by Him.
Beckie and her pastor husband, Joe, have 4 biological children and 1 adopted from Kazakhstan. They have been married 23 years and have been serving the Lord in Delavan, Illinois for the last 6 ½ years. E-mail Becky at beckiejoe@gmail.com.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m a mom with two children, one adopted and one biological. And it must be said that at least for some people the love is NOT the same.
However, I’m not saying I love one of my children more than the other. There is no way to measure love. I simply love them both as much as I can.
What I mean is that the FEELING of love, and the way your relationship grows and changes, is different. Basically for my adopted child, it’s more complicated. Its very hard to describe. I think I feel more protective of this child, who has already had alot of hardships. Its like I feel like together we will conquer, this child and me. For my biological child, its more like awww how cute. Its remembering the times when I was pregnant and how we bonded way back then.
Maybe some moms who have children both ways feel exactly the same way about them all, but not me. I just want to be honest so other moms can know that this is also normal.
Thank you for your honesty…I needed to hear that this morning.