In this post, we’ll examine several oft-quoted Bible passages that compound feelings of guilt, inadequacy and disillusionment in infertile people.

You have a Christian friend who’s infertile. You want to encourage her, so you pull out your Bible. You vaguely recall that several people in the Bible were “barren,” and they all ended up being blessed with children. You decide to quote these passages to your friend.

Stop!

Before you say anything, become familiar with the following “Biblical” advice that is often given to infertile people by their well-meaning friends:

If you have enough faith, God will grant you a child.

This not-so-helpful suggestion is rooted in God’s promise in Genesis 12 that Abraham and Sarah – even though they were 100 and 91 years old, would give birth to a son. Romans 4:20 tells us that Abraham “did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God,” but was “fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.”

When Christians are unable to “be fruitful and multiply,” does that mean their faith is weak? Has God chosen not to bless them for some reason?

God’s promise to Abraham and Sarah was not intended to apply to every married couple thoughout history. In Genesis, God makes a specific promise to one couple, telling Abraham that all people on earth will be blessed through him. Nowhere does the text state or imply that all infertile people will be rewarded with children, just because their faith is strong.

You must have some unconfessed sin in your life. OR God must be punishing you for the sins of your youth.

Arrrrgggh! Do I speak for all infertile people here? If God was punishing us for our sins, would anyone have children?

When we want to encourage our infertile friends, why not choose a more appropriate passage, such as Hebrews 4:16, where the writer tells us: “Let us approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

I will pray that God will open your womb.

In Genesis, Jacob is tricked into marrying Rachel’s older sister, Leah, but he does not love Leah as much as he loves Rachel. Genesis 29:31 says, “When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren.”

Rachel, intensely jealous of her sister, begs Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” (Most infertile women can relate to her statement).

Jacob becomes angry with her and says, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?”

Later in the passage, “God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and opened her womb.”

This is where the comment about God opening the womb originates, and also, the belief that opening the womb must be tied to confessed sin, forgiveness, and a close walk with God. Often, there is a big difference between what the Bible teaches and what it reports. The writer of Genesis reports that God opened Rachel’s womb; the writer does not teach that God will open the womb of every infertile woman. The Bible presents a much bigger picture in this story – one that includes the whole future of the nation of Israel and their migration to Egypt through the leadership of Rachel’s son, Joseph.

Instead of telling an infertile friend that God can open her womb, just pray with her instead. Walk alongside your friend and together, lay your heartache before the Lord and allow Him to work in His mysterious way.

Try not to wield Scripture as a magic wand that will make problems disappear. Use it with care and you’ll discover that it will equip you with the encouragement you need to face those problems.

Next: How you can help people connect with others who are experiencing fertility challenges or who are considering adoption.

In Part 1, guest columnist Beckie Stewart, a mother of four children ranging in age from 12-19, explained how her life turned topsy-turvy when she added an adopted infant to the mix.

By Beckie Stewart

One of the biggest issues I struggled with prior to adoption was the fear that I may not love my adopted child as much as my biological children. I found myself unable to share this fear with anyone but the Lord. It was discussed in some books and magazines, but not a lot.

After months of collecting all the necessary paperwork and waiting for information on an available child for us to adopt, we received a picture and short biography about a little girl from Kazakhstan, who was waiting for a forever family. The moment her picture came up on my computer, my heart pounded with excitement. I found my feelings for her were just like the day I gave birth to my other children. I knew I would sacrifice my life for this child.

That realization helped me understand how much my Heavenly Father loved me when He adopted me into His family. I can now confidently say, like Paul did in Romans 8:38-39, that I am absolutely persuaded that nothing can separate me from the love that the Father has for me.

It does not matter whether my daughter was born from my womb or not. She is my daughter, and I am her mother. Biological or adoption, being a mommy to a child is born in the heart, not in the belly.

The Lord is using this child to solidify in my heart what it truly means to love my children and to be loved by Him.

Beckie and her pastor husband, Joe, have 4 biological children and 1 adopted from Kazakhstan. They have been married 23 years and have been serving the Lord in Delavan, Illinois for the last 6 ½ years. E-mail Becky at beckiejoe@gmail.com.
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I was pleasantly surprised to read a personal experience article about infertility–written by a man–in Today’s Christian magazine (Jan/Feb 2008).

In the article, Elliott J. Anderson, author of Answers in Abundance: A Miraculous Adoption Journey as Told from a Father’s Heart, candidly shares his struggles with infertility, his emotional and spiritual shift to considering adoption, and some amazing truths the Bible reveals about infertility and adoption.

I haven’t read his book yet, but if it’s anywhere near as well-written as the article, I can’t wait to get my hands on it!

For more news and information on adoption topics, please visit www.laurachristianson.com or my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Mary, the mother of Jesus, can most certainly relate to the emotions of all women who experience an unexpected pregnancy.

When the angel Gabriel shows up to inform the teenage Galilean girl that God has a little surprise in store for her, Mary experiences the shock of her life.

Gabriel bluntly announces:

“You will become pregnant and give birth to a son and call his name Jesus. He will be great, be called ‘Son of the Highest.’ (Luke 1:31-32, The Message).

Mary trembles with a mixture of excitement and fear at Gabriel’s news. Granted, God has chosen her, a ‘nobody’ peasant girl, to attain the honor that Jewish women throughout history have desired.

Yet an instant ethical dilemma accompanies the honor of being pregnant with the promised Messiah: everyone will assume Mary is pregnant out of wedlock.

Sure, she can claim that the Holy Spirit is the birth father of her unborn child. She can tell everyone that the child she’s carrying is the long-awaited Messiah. But she knows that her story will seem far-fetched at the very least.

Imagine the thoughts that whirl through Mary’s mind: Why is this happening to me? I’m not married. My fiancé, Joseph, will think I’ve been sleeping with another man!

Joseph probably did think that, because he was prepared to break off the pending marriage. But fortunately, he, too, received an angelic visit that set him straight on the details of Mary’s mysterious pregnancy.

Joseph agreed to stick by her, and the two of them (and God) prepared to face the wrath of their world head-on.

Mary and Joseph’s family, friends and neighbors must have thought the young couple had lost their minds. They glared at Mary, accusing her with their eyes:

We see right through that outlandish story you’ve invented to cover up the fact that you’ve been a naughty girl.

And Joseph – what a dope! That conniving little fiancé of his sure pulled the wool over his eyes. Why doesn’t he just disgrace her publicly or have her stoned?

Mary and Joseph knew that the ostracism, both subtle and blatant, would never diminish as long as they remained in Nazareth. So they released their burden to God. With the assurance that God was in control, they allowed Him to direct their path.

As we celebrate the birth of Jesus, the son of Mary, Joseph and God, my prayer is that you release the burdens you’re carrying to God.

His Word in Matthew 11:28-30 offers the perfect encouragement:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or unfitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

The New Testament introduces us to a famous person who was adopted: Jesus.

In the book of Matthew, we learn that Jesus was informally adopted by his father, Joseph.

When Joseph learns that his fiancée, Mary, is pregnant, he knows he isn’t the biological father (Matthew 1:18-25). He decides to leave Mary quietly in order to avoid a public scandal.

Then an angel appears to Joseph and explains that the child Mary is carrying is God’s son—the One who will save his people from their sins. The angel instructs Joseph to name his son Yeshua (Jesus), meaning, “The Lord Saves.”

What a mixture of joy and fear Joseph must have felt when he learned he was going to steward God’s gift to the world by adopting God’s son!

“Joseph’s Lullaby,” sung by Michael Crawford, expresses what Joseph might have been feeling during those moments:

Mary, are you sleeping?
Mary, I’m afraid
Mary, can I live up to
The choice that God has made?

Jesus, can You tell me,
Here upon my knee
What kind of father will I be?

What can I give to You
You, made from miracles
That God has given me to keep?

I can’t give much to You
You, made from miracles
But I can hold You as You sleep

What can You learn from me
You, made from miracles
When I’ve so much to learn from You?

What can a man like me
Offer the miracle
Who taught me miracles come true

Tell me how to guide You
Tell me what to say
Tell me how to show You how
To show the world the way

How to please the angels
Watching from above
When all I have to give You is love

But if it’s love You need
You, made from miracles
Then take my hand and hold it tight

And I will give You love
Sweet, little miracle
That God has given me tonight

Sweet, little miracle
Oh, what a miracle
That god has given us tonight

Joseph’s commitment to share Jesus with his birth father was truly a remarkable example for all of us who follow in Joseph’s footsteps.

As you prepare to celebrate Christmas, please remember the women and men who make the difficult decision to release their children into the arms of others, and remember those who graciously accept the responsibility of raising those children.

Most of all, remember to thank God for working through the lives of everyday people throughout history in order to demonstrate to us what it means to trust, and to love unconditionally.

I wish you a joyous Christmas!

Source for song lyrics:

• Actionext.com

]]> http://www.laurachristianson.com/laura/adoption-in-the-bible-jesus/feed/ 2 http://www.laurachristianson.com/laura/adoption-in-the-bible-moses/ http://www.laurachristianson.com/laura/adoption-in-the-bible-moses/#comments Thu, 20 Dec 2007 13:00:00 +0000 http://www.laurachristianson.com/laura/adoption-in-the-bible-moses/

Some people believe open adoption originated in California during the early 1980s, but the concept has been around a long, long time. In the book of Exodus in the Bible, we learn that Moses’ birth mother, Jochebed, makes an adoption plan for her infant son when the king of Egypt institutes his version of ethnic cleansing.

In Exodus 1, Pharaoh decides the Israelites are “too numerous.” He fears that if war breaks out, the Israelites will join his enemies (a shrewd assumption, particularly since this ruthless king oppressed the Israelites with forced labor). Pharaoh orders his people:

“Every boy that is born, drown him in the Nile” (Exodus 1:22 The Message).

About the time Pharaoh issues this edict, a Hebrew baby named Moses is born to Jochebed and her husband, Amram. They hide their son from the Egyptians for three months. Then, fearing for Moses’ life, Jochebed places her baby in a watertight basket and floats it among the reeds along the bank of the Nile. She stations her young daughter Miriam as a lookout.

Pharaoh’s grown daughter discovers the babe, takes pity on him, and decides to adopt him as her own. When Miriam approaches, Pharaoh’s daughter agrees to hire Jochebed to nurse the infant.

The culminating moment in Moses’ adoption comes in Exodus 2:10, after Moses is weaned. His birth mother delivers him to Pharaoh’s daughter and he officially becomes the son of the Egyptian princess.

Jochebed exhibited incredible strength of character in weaving her intricate adoption plan for Moses. She essentially chose his adoptive family by floating the basket near the spot she knew Pharaoh’s daughter would come to bathe. Perhaps Jochebed had heard rumors of the princess’s kind-heartedness. Jochebed hoped against hope the Princess’s servants would coo over the baby and implore Pharaoh’s daughter to rescue him.

Jochebed had no idea what God had in store for her little one, yet she trusted His gentle prompting and she released her baby into His hands. Even though she knew she was giving Moses a chance at life, Jochebed must have felt intense anguish as she tenderly placed her son in the basket and kissed him goodbye.

This article was excerpted from The Adoption Decision by Laura Christianson, copyright 2007 Harvest House Publishers.

In the next two posts: The most famous open adoption in history.

For more news and information about
adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com,
and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Mary, the mother of Jesus, can most certainly relate to the
emotions of all women who experience an unexpected pregnancy. When the angel
Gabriel shows up to inform the teenage Galilean girl that God has a little
surprise in store for her, Mary experiences the shock of her life.

Gabriel bluntly announces, “You will become pregnant and
give birth to a son and call his name Jesus. He will be great, be called ‘Son
of the Highest.’ (Luke 1:31-32, The
Message).

Mary trembles with a mixture of excitement and fear at
Gabriel’s news. Granted, God has chosen her, a ‘nobody’ peasant girl, to attain
the honor that Jewish women throughout history have desired. Yet an instant
ethical dilemma accompanies the honor of being pregnant with the promised
Messiah: everyone will assume Mary is pregnant out of wedlock.

Sure, she can claim that the Holy Spirit is the birth father
of her unborn child. She can tell everyone that the child she’s carrying is the
long-awaited Messiah. But she knows that her story will seem far-fetched at the
very least. Imagine the thoughts that whirl through Mary’s mind: Why is this happening to me? I’m not
married. My fiancé, Joseph, will think I’ve been sleeping with another man!

Joseph probably did think that, because he was prepared to
break off the pending marriage. But fortunately, he, too, received an angelic
visit that set him straight on the details of Mary’s mysterious pregnancy.
Joseph agreed to stick by her, and the two of them (and God) prepared to face
the wrath of their world head-on.

Mary and Joseph’s family, friends and neighbors must have
thought the young couple had lost their minds. They glared at Mary, accusing
her with their eyes: We see right through
that outlandish story you’ve invented to cover up the fact that you’ve been a
naughty girl. And Joseph – what a
dope! That conniving little fiancé of his sure pulled the wool over his eyes.
Why doesn’t he just disgrace her publicly or have her stoned?

It required more than a little strength of character for
Mary and Joseph to ignore the criticism. For they knew that the ostracism, both
subtle and blatant, would never diminish as long as they remained in Nazareth. So  they released their burden to God. With the assurance that God was in
control, they allowed Him to direct their path.

As we celebrate the birth of Jesus, the son of Mary, Joseph
and God, my prayer is that you release the burdens you’re carrying to God. His
Word in Matthew 11:28-30 offers the perfect encouragement: “Are you tired? Worn
out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover
your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me
– watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything
heavy or unfitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely
and lightly.”

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Kathe Wunnenberg knows what it’s like to yearn for a child to continue the family legacy. She knows what it’s like to suffer in silence through years of infertility, infant loss, failed adoption, and miscarriage. She describes her devotional book, Longing for a Child, as a “companion of hope” for those who experience fertility challenges.

Similar to her first two books, Grieving the Loss of a Loved One and Grieving the Child I Never Knew, this book is divided into twelve sections with five devotions in each.

The sections are as follows:

1. Longing
2. Wondering
3. Waiting
4. Resenting
5. Hoping
6. Bracing
7. Guarding
8. Trusting
9. Releasing
10. Redirecting
11. Accepting
12. Embracing

A thirteenth section contains 19 special meditations for special days, such as:

• Mother’s Day
• Father’s Day
• Baby Showers
• When Your Pregnancy Test is Negative
• When Your Pregnancy Test is Positive
• When You Face a Medical Procedure
• When Your Adoption Fails
• When You Face Financial Problems
• When Your Doctor Disappoints You
• When Someone You Know Becomes Pregnant of Has a Baby

These meditations are organized a bit differently than the rest of the devotions; they begin with a Scripture verse or verses and then ask you to personalize the verse by replacing “you” with “me”; to proclaim the verse by reading it aloud several times; to ponder the verse by reflecting on particular words, phrases and images that encourage you; and to pray the verse, offering it back to God as a personalized prayer.

At the end of each meditation, the author cross references devotions from other parts of the book that tie in thematically with the reflection.

The first twelve sections of devotions are organized as follows:
Each devotion begins with a Scripture verse, followed by a short thematic story, a prayer, three-to-five reflection questions, and space for you to journal your thoughts.

Here’s a brief excerpt from the beginning of Devotion 23, “Hope and Joy”:

“You’re pregnant!” my doctor announced with a smile.

My response? Silence. Though this should have been a celebratory moment for me, it wasn’t. I was scared. Will I lose this child too? I wondered? I couldn’t bear the thought of losing a fifth child…Hope could not be trusted. It had betrayed me in the past…

Longing for a Child deserves a place on the bookshelf of anyone who is experiencing infertility, miscarriage, or infant loss. It would also be an appropriate book to gift to someone who’s facing fertility challenges.

Longing for a Child, by Kathe Wunnenberg ©2005, Zondervan $14.99

For more news and information about adoption, please visit my Web site, www.laurachristianson.com.

At Bible Study Fellowship this week, we studied Genesis 46-48. Of particular interest to me was the story of Jacob (Israel) adopting his grandsons, Ephraim and Manasseh.

In Genesis 48:5, Jacob (who is 130 years old at the time) says to his son Joseph: “Now then, your two sons born to you in Egypt before I came to you here will be reckoned as mine; Ephraim and Manasseh will be mine, just as Reuben and Simeon are mine.”

In other words, Jacob adopts Ephraim and Manasseh as his own children and creates each of them as patriarchs of distinct tribes who, along with Jacob’s other sons, will inherit equal portions of the land of Canaan.

I like what Matthew Henry’s commentary says about this:

“Let them not succeed their father, in his power and grandeur in Egypt; but let them succeed in the inheritance of the promise made to Abraham.”

Joseph receives a “double portion” from his father. Because Jacob’s eldest son, Reuben, committed incest with his father’s concubine, Jacob transferred Reuben’s portion of the birthright to his favorite son, Joseph.

Please correct me if I’m wrong, but as I understand it, Joseph receives the “rights of the firstborn” (1 Chronicles 5:1-2), which I think means that he receives not only his own inheritance, but Reuben’s birthright. So even though Ephraim and Manasseh each receive one portion, Joseph inherits the double portion by virtue of Jacob adopting the boys. Ephraim and Manasseh, rather than Joseph, end up being counted among the twelve tribes of Israel.

The other thing I found touching about this passage was that Joseph took Ephraim and Manasseh on his knees (Gen. 48:12). Placing a child on one’s knees was a custom that signified or symbolized adoption. Even though scholars estimate that Ephraim and Manasseh were somewhere between 20 and 24 years old at the time Jacob adopted them, I thought it was neat that he Jacob took him on his knees, as a father would do with his small son.

For Jacob, his sons truly are a gift from God. As Psalm 127:3 says, “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.”

A very interesting commentary by Marcus L. Burstein discusses adoption in the Torah. Burstein is the associate rabbi of Temple Rodef Shalom, Falls Church, Virginia.

He writes:

Jacob’s adoption of his grandsons is not a new concept in the Torah; in fact, it is mentioned numerous times in Genesis. Eliezer is named heir to Abraham’s fortune in Genesis 15:2–3, Sarah obtains a son through her maidservant Hagar (Genesis 16:2), and Rachel raises Dan and Naphtali as her own through Bilhah (Genesis 30:3–8). Jacob himself is adopted by his father-in-law, Laban, in Genesis 29–31.

What wonderful examples of adoption the Bible gives us! Jacob didn’t have any qualms about adopting his grandsons – he just did it. And he did so with great joy. We can all be encouraged by his boldness.

For more articles about adoption, please visit my Web site, www.laurachristianson.com

He is risen!

A blessed Easter to everyone.

Today, in honor of our Lord’s death and resurrection, I’d like to reflect on our spiritual adoption. In the Bible, those who wished to atone for their sins did so through a sacrificial ritual. Worshipers shed the blood of a perfect sacrificial animal (often a lamb, goat, turtledove, bull or pigeon, depending on the person’s financial resources) and offered it to God as an expression of their penitence and devotion.

In the New Testament, when Jesus speaks of himself as the sacrificial lamb, he’s explaining that his own death and resurrection will create a new covenant – one that takes the place of the sacrificial system – a covenant in which God freely extends forgiveness to all who seek it, once for all.

On the last full day of his life (a day Christians now call Good Friday), as Jesus shared the Passover meal with his disciples, he passed them bread and wine, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me…this cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you” (Luke 22:18-20).

Christians remember Jesus’ broken body and shed blood whenever we partake of the sacrament of the Lord’s Supper (known by many as Holy Communion). As we do so, God reaffirms His covenant to unify all believers as His adopted children.
1 Corinthians 10:16-17 says:

Is not the cup of thanksgiving for which we give thanks a participation in the blood of Christ? And is not the bread that we break a participation in the body of Christ? Because there is one loaf, we, who are many, are one body, for we all partake of the one loaf.

Jesus invites us to become his adopted child when we confess that we’ve blown it and ask for his forgiveness. When we accept Jesus as our savior, he breaks the bonds our sin holds over us and introduces us to a new life in which he claims possession of our heart. We are "reborn" as his adopted child.

He then instills in us a true sense of belonging – to Him and to each other. This sense of belonging to God’s family isn’t passed down through bloodlines, but through the blood Jesus shed to provide us permanent release from our sins.

Today, Christians throughout the world celebrate the new life we have because of Jesus’ sacrifice. We celebrate our adoption day.