RESOLVE (www.resolve.org), The National Infertility Association, recommends that people assess their fertility diagnosis and treatment options by creating a “decision tree.”

I recommend the decision tree as a handy tool for those considering family building through birth or adoption.

A decision tree is essentially a flow chart. Here’s how to create one:

1. Write your primary goal at the top left side a piece of paper and circle it.
2. To the right of your primary goal, list options for how you can achieve the goal.
3. Under each option, list its pros and cons.

For example, you might list your primary goal as, “To Create a Family.” Options for achieving that goal may include trying to get pregnant on your own, undergoing surgery, taking fertility medications, pursuing assisted reproductive technology (ART), or investigating adoption. For each of those options, you should brainstorm a detailed list of pros and cons.

If you’re brainstorming pros and cons about adoption, for instance, you might include:

Pros:

• No pregnancy risks
• Provide a loving home to a child

Cons:

• Expenses
• Fears about child’s genetic heritage

A decision tree is a helpful method to analyze what’s most important to you about family building. Writing down your options prevents you from overlooking important details and it gives you a sense of control over your family-building decisions.

I’ll be a guest on the Creating a Family radio show Wednesday Feb. 17, 2010 from noon-1 p.m. Eastern Time ( 9-10 a.m. Pacific).

I’ll be discussing how to choose an adoption agency with host Dawn Davenport, and the other guest, Elizabeth Falker (author of The Ultimate Insider’s Guide to Adoption). We’ll be covering agencies for both domestic and international adoption.

Hope you’ll tune in to listen live. If you can’t catch the live show, you can listen to the podcast anytime at

http://www.creatingafamily.org/radioshow.html

Dawn has lots of interesting broadcasts on adoption- and infertility-related topics — check them out!

I’m going to be a guest on Creating a Family radio show January 20, 2010.

We’ll spend a full hour discussing how to choose an adoption agency, facilitator, or attorney.

I’d love to respond to your questions about how to choose an agency, as well as to share experiences from those of you who have recently worked with an agency, facilitator, or adoption attorney.

I’m giving away a selection of my books to several random people who suggest questions or share your own experiences (both good and bad experiences, please). Books I’ll be giving away:

• The Adoption Decision: 15 Things You Want to Know Before Adopting
• The Adoption Network: Your Guide to Starting a Support System
• Handbook on Thriving as an Adoptive Family: Real-Life Solutions to Common Challenges)

Here are some possible questions you might respond to:

• What were your top 3 factors in choosing an agency, facilitator, or attorney?
• Was working with a local adoption professional important to you?
• What differences in adoption fees did you notice as you investigated particular adoption professionals?
• Did you check references? If so, who did you ask? What did you learn?
• What red flags would prevent you from working with a particular adoption professional?

Please respond in the Comments area for this post, or e-mail me via the Contact page on laurachristianson.com.

You might win a book… or multiple books… as my thanks for submitting a comment and helping me prepare for this show.

Creating a Family is  a nonprofit providing education, resources, and support for infertility and adoption.

One of the primary services offered by Creating a Family is a weekly one hour national radio show: Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption and Infertility. Half of the shows are about adoption and half about infertility.

Director Dawn Davenport says:

“This show is now both the # 1 rated adoption podcast and infertility podcast on iTunes. We are very proud that the Creating a Family show received awards from both the US Department of Health and Human Services and the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2009.”

One of my readers, R., is planning to adopt from Kazakhstan as a single parent. She's been going through a stressful time lately, and has been taking an anti-depressant for a couple of months.

R. heard that Kazakhstan does not allow for any history of taking anti-depressants. R. writes:

Now I am really worried that I may have just ruined my chances of adopting from Kaz.

What should I do? If it’s only been a couple of months, can I just get off the medication and ask the social worker to not mention it in my dossier so I can adopt?

What do people typically do in this situation?

R: You may be surprised at how many people ask this question. You're not alone in wondering whether your use of an anti-depressant may hinder your chances of adopting.

Each country from which people adopt has its own set of rules and regulations. Some of them play fast and loose with the regulations; others adhere to them like glue. And, of course, the adoption regulations in many countries change faster we can keep up with them.

Your best course of action is to find an adoption agency or adoption professional that specializes in adoptions from Kazakhstan and ask them about the current regulations regarding anti-depressant use.

If you're considering adopting from Kazakhstan, join a support group or discussion group (either online or in your community) of parents who have adopted from that country and pepper them with questions. Parents who have recently adopted from a particular country are some of the best resources you'll find for gathering information.

After you've selected an agency to work with, be sure to disclose your use of anti-depressants. Your caseworker will help you determine what options are available to you.

Readers, please chime in with your advice! Would especially love to hear recommendations for online Kazakhstan support/discussion groups.

In yesterday’s post, I introduced you to my author friend, Camy Tang, a “loud Asian chick who writes loud Asian chick lit.”

Camy writes romance with a kick of wasabi. She used to be a biologist, but now she is a staff worker for her church youth group and leads a worship team for Sunday service. She also runs the Story Sensei fiction critique service. On her blog, she gives away Christian novels every Monday and Thursday, and she ponders frivolous things like dumb dogs (namely, hers), coffee-geek husbands (no resemblance to her own…), the writing journey, Asiana, and anything else
that comes to mind.

Camy and I chatted about adoption, racism, and Christian fiction:

Laura: You and your husband are thinking about starting a family. Have you considered adopting? Why or why not?

Camy: Actually, we have considered adoption. My husband and I have worked with our church youth group for years and are open to adopting an older child, although we’re still in prayer about it.

We’ve also discussed adopting from China.

Laura: Since you’re Asian-American, would you prefer to adopt an Asian child? Or are you open to adopting a child of any racial/ethnic background?

Camy: I personally would like to adopt a little girl from China because we could raise her in a Chinese American household and help her understand the variety and riches of her racial background.

Laura: Have you faced any overt or subtle racism? If so, can you give us an example of how you dealt with it?

Camy: Actually, I have been very lucky because I haven’t experienced much racism at all. I grew up in Hawaii, where the majority ethnicity is Asian, and in moving to northern California, I’m still surrounded by Asians since there is a large Asian population here.

I think the only “racism” I’ve encountered personally have been a few Caucasian guys with Asian fetishes who visited my church when I was still single and who targeted all the Asian girls.

Laura: What inspired you to write Asian American chick-lit from a Christian perspective?

Camy: I love Christian fiction, but noticed there just weren’t many Christian novels about Asians, and there weren’t ANY Christian novels about Asian Americans (very different from Asians in, say, China) or any Christian novels written by Asians.

Since I’ve pretty much grown up in the Asian American culture, I wanted to write something that might be interesting and unique to Christians growing up in other ethnic American households.

I also tend more toward humor than women’s fiction or historical novels (anyone who visits my blog regularly knows I’m very silly and irreverent), so I naturally gravitated toward chick lit.

Laura: Do you base your characters on real people/situations? Where does “fact” stop and “fiction” take over?

My characters are mostly fiction. I try really, really hard not to base any characters’ personalities off of people in real life. In my opinion, that’s just not polite.

However, peripherals like a character’s occupation or maybe a character’s unique quirk of behavior will sometimes come from real life stories I hear.

Laura: Tell us a little about your upcoming books.

Camy: The novel that just released is Single Sashimi, the third book in the Sushi series. Here’s a blurb:

My next novel is a Christian romantic suspense titled Deadly Intent, coming out in August 2009 (tentative date) from Steeple Hill’s Love Inspired Suspense line.

This may not be the actual back cover blurb, but here’s a blurb I submitted recently in my Art Fact Sheet:

Laura: Your Sushi series books focus on four cousins. Will there be a fourth book in the series?

Camy: There will be a fourth book in the Sushi series. It will be a novella and I’ll have it available FREE for my newsletter YahooGroup subscribers (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Camys_Loft) or as a print on demand book available for purchase on Amazon.

Laura: What’s your favorite thing to do on a sunny day in Silicon Valley?

Walk the dog! We live right next to the rolling foothills and it’s really nice to go walking. My only problem is that my dog is not good around other dogs (she’s really friendly with people, though). So I have to be careful when she encounters other dogs on her walks.

I'm giving away THREE copies of Camy's latest novel, Single Sashimi, this week. All you have to do is post a comment on this post (or on the previous post). Tell us why you love/hate chick lit, Christian fiction, or
sushi. Or ask Camy a question. I’ll announce the winners on October 21, 2008.

Visit Camy’s website at www.camytang.com/ for a huge website contest going on right now. Camy's giving away ten boxes of books and 30 copies of her latest release, SINGLE SASHIMI.

If you want to learn more about adoption and orphan care ministry, a complete set of DVDs and CDs from The Adoption & Orphan Summit IV is now available for $92.

This Summit IV, sponsored by the Christian Alliance for Orphans, was held in Fort Lauderdale. I was unable to attend, but did go last year, and the presentations were excellent. I imagine they were equally good this year.

If you want to purchase individual sessions (as opposed to the complete set), order by calling 954-315-4450.

Sign up for Adoption
World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and
check out my Amazon Exploring
Adoption bookstore.

Create your own
E-newsletters and e-mail templates

The last two posts have introduced you to orphan hosting programs. Linda Goodnight  has hosted four children since 2005. She told me about her experiences with two hosting programs that she recommends:

URGEX, U.S.-Russian Global Exchange 
www.urgex.net

Fostering Hope 
www.hopeukraine.org

Q: Do you need to be actively seeking adoption in order to participate in the program?

A: Not with these two. Not at all. In fact, they are host-only programs, although some people do end up adopting their hosted child.

Q: What training do host families receive prior to the child’s visit?

A: With both Fostering Hope and Urgex, an e-mail seminar is provided.

• Urgex also provides a world of language info and other resources to prepare the host family.
• Fostering Hope also has a close-knit group that meets to discuss the program and the coming children so that parents are prepared.

Q: How much does it cost to participate in the program?

A: Both programs were about $2,300 total. If you live on the east coast, this is quite a bit cheaper, but because I live in the central part of the U.S., the child had to be flown to me and this added another airline fare.

Q:  How long does the child stay in your home? 

A: 3-4 weeks, depending on the time of year.

Q:  What host program activities do you and the child participate in during the visit?

A: Get-togethers with the other families.Each site has a coordinator that sets up some outings that all can attend. There are also telephone translators for any problems that may arise and a caregiver from the orphanage.We, personally, never had any issues.

Q: What is the most challenging aspect of hosting an orphaned child?

A: You’re probably expecting me to say “language,” but it really wasn’t. There are many ways to communicate and we did incredibly well. The hardest thing about hosting is sending the children back at the end of the vacation. We know going in that this will happen, but it is still so, so difficult to say goodbye.

Q:  What is the most rewarding aspect of hosting an orphaned child?

A: The entire experience is immensely rewarding.   
Examples:

• Seeing a child’s eyes when they experience something they have never seen before—something as simple as bubble bath or a vacuum cleaner or a clothes drier. 
• Hearing those first English words, spoken with a darling accent, “sank oo.”
• Giving them the attention they have craved for so long and done without and watching them bloom from it. I could go on and on about the positives of opening your heart to a needy child.
• Best of all, I keep up a correspondence with the kids, sending them little cards and gifts. They write back. I know I have touched lives forever. In fact, one child wrote about her hosting experience: “Those were the best days of my life.”

Q:  Did you adopt the children you hosted?

A: We had planned to adopt the first child we hosted through a disreputable group. When that fell through, we decided to host for the joy of it and not worry about adoption anymore.

Q:  Why do you recommend these programs?

A: Both of the programs I have discussed are professional, caring, wonderful programs who are deeply committed to the children. They do their best to keep the cost as low as possible and work hard to provide the most positive experience for everyone. They also both do humanitarian work in the orphanages before and after the hosting.

Related posts:

• Orphan Hosting Programs: New Horizons for Children
• Orphan Hosting Programs: The Russian Orphan Lighthouse Project
• Cultural
  Programs for Adopting Russian Orphans
• Pros
  and Cons of Hosting Programs for Soviet Bloc Orphans
• The Foundation for Orphans – links
  to many orphan hosting programs

Other posts in the Orphan Care
series:

• 7
  Reasons Why 90% of the World’s Orphans Will Never Be Adopted
  
• Orphan Care
  Organizations

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and
check out my Amazon Exploring
Adoption bookstore.

Sign up for Adoption
World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

]]> http://www.laurachristianson.com/laura/what-it%e2%80%99s-like-to-participate-in-an-orphan-hosting-program/feed/ 0 http://www.laurachristianson.com/laura/orphan-hosting-programs-the-russian-orphan-lighthouse-project/ http://www.laurachristianson.com/laura/orphan-hosting-programs-the-russian-orphan-lighthouse-project/#comments Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:00:00 +0000 http://www.laurachristianson.com/laura/orphan-hosting-programs-the-russian-orphan-lighthouse-project/

In my last post, I introduced you to a program that brings orphans from other countries for short-term stays with host families in your area. Here’s another:

www.lhproject.com

Lisa Smith, program director, says this is “a Christian older orphan vacation hosting program for orphans from Russia. We have done 33+ trips since 1997 and I myself have helped more than 800+ Russian orphans become adopted. I lived in Russia for 10 years and am also a facilitator.

Their Website states:

Through 10-day vacation bible school trips to the US to prospective adopting host families, we have helped over 350 Russian orphans find Christian ‘forever homes’.

A fee of $600 for the first child you host is required to be paid by host families to defer the cost of the transportation of the children. In the case of sibling groups (related or unrelated sibs), parents are given the option of hosting a second child at an additional cost.

Lisa says she is looking for new hosting cities for her program. If you or your church is interested in having a group of older Russian orphans visit your area, please contact Lisa via her Website.

Related posts:

• What It’s Like to Participate in an Orphan Hosting Program
• Orphan Hosting Programs: New Horizons for Children
• Cultural Programs for Adopting Russian Orphans
• Pros
  and Cons of Hosting Programs for Soviet Bloc Orphans
• The Foundation for Orphans – links
  to many orphan hosting programs

Other posts in the Orphan Care series:

• 7 Reasons Why 90% of the World’s Orphans Will Never Be Adopted
• Orphan Care Organizations

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and
check out my Amazon Exploring
Adoption bookstore.

Sign up for Adoption
World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

If you’re thinking about adopting an older child internationally, you might consider participating in a program that brings children from other countries for short-term stays with host families in your area.
In the next few posts, I’ll be introducing you to several programs.

New Horizons for Children, Inc.
www.newhorizonsforchildren.org

Regional programs operate in the Northeast, Southeast, Central Texas, and West Coast. The deadline for applying to be a summer 2008 host family is April 30, 2008.  Le Ann Dakake, Director of Hosting Programs, told me a bit about their program:

Q: Why did you start New Horizons for Children?

A: I started it after my husband and I adopted an older teen from Russia in 2000. Now he is 21 and his prayer has always been for God to help his friends and other orphans find families, too. We have now adopted 5 times… most recently after becoming a last minute backup family to a little boy age 5 with mild Cerebral Palsy… we weren’t expecting to adopt nor ever considered a handicapped child… he is now home and we can’t remember life without him in it! In all, we figure about 80% of our host families don’t expect to adopt, but 70%+ do.

Q: You are a non-denominational Christian ministry. Do your host families need to be Christians?

A: Our host families are of a Christian faith, and our aim is to share the love of Jesus with kids who may have never known or realize they do have a Father! The same one we all have, in Heaven, who loves them very much.

Q: Do you need to be actively seeking adoption in order to participate in the program?

A: No.

Q: What training do host families receive prior to the child’s visit?

A: Full day in Atlanta area or Philadelphia area, host parent training manual, telephone and email support and access to past host families.

Q: How much does it cost to participate in the program?

A: Cost of the child’s travel: $1,950 presently.

Q: How long does the child stay in your home?

A: 4-5 weeks (4 weeks at Christmas—mid-December through mid-January, or 5 weeks in summer—late June through early August)

Q: What host program activities do you and the child participate in during the visit?

A:

1. Group events if the family lives within the program radius on some weekends, usually 7-10 days apart.
2. Welcome party: America 101. This is a Christian experience with crafts and games.
3. Farewell party. Out of program families who live more than 2.5 hours from core programs in Atlanta or Houston or Philadelphia do not attend these and have other connection needs with email of photos, calls to chaperones etc.

Q: What is the most challenging aspect of hosting an orphaned child?

A: Expectations of family and child not being equal. Keeping in mind the child is an orphan, and became that way from something that happened to them. They don’t “look like” orphans, so families tend to forget and raise expectations beyond what a child is ready for.
The farewell at the airport is really tough. But, all kids come as a group and must return as a group, or the program will end.

Q: What is the most rewarding aspect of hosting an orphaned child?

A: The blessing of experiencing life through a child’s eyes and teaching love from a family perspective, realizing communication is 20% verbal and 80% non-verbal and connecting with a child who came into your home not speaking your language or being familiar with your schedules, culture, meals, living conditions, ways of showing love, etc.

Related posts:

• What it’s Like to Participate in an Orphan Hosting Program
• The Russian Orphan Lighthouse Project
• Cultural
  Programs for Adopting Russian Orphans
• Pros
  and Cons of Hosting Programs for Soviet Bloc Orphans
• The Foundation for Orphans – links
  to many orphan hosting programs

Other posts in the Orphan Care series:

• 7 Reasons Why 90% of the World’s Orphans Will Never Be Adopted
• Orphan Care Organizations

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and
check out my Amazon Exploring
Adoption bookstore.

Sign up for Adoption
World, my free monthly eZine! Just send a blank email to adoptionworld@aweber.com

I was pleasantly surprised to read a personal experience article about infertility–written by a man–in Today’s Christian magazine (Jan/Feb 2008).

In the article, Elliott J. Anderson, author of Answers in Abundance: A Miraculous Adoption Journey as Told from a Father’s Heart, candidly shares his struggles with infertility, his emotional and spiritual shift to considering adoption, and some amazing truths the Bible reveals about infertility and adoption.

I haven’t read his book yet, but if it’s anywhere near as well-written as the article, I can’t wait to get my hands on it!

For more news and information on adoption topics, please visit www.laurachristianson.com or my Amazon Exploring Adoption bookstore.