Cindy Bigelow, founder and director of CHOSEN International, alerted me to the following:

Christian camp designed especially for teens, adopted at any age, both domestic and international.

Dates: August 28-30, 2009

Place: Eagle Fern Camp (near Portland, Oregon)

Camp theme: “The Father Heart of God,” and finding your identity in who God says you are

Speakers: Adult adoptees, including:

• Kim Deardorff, a musician from Nashville who was found in a garbage dump as a baby in Korea. He just finished touring with some of Christian music’s top artists on the Winter Jam Tour.
• Stephanie Fast, an internationally-known speaker whose story is one of Focus on the Family’s most requested broadcasts ever (I’ve heart Stephanie speak; she’s amazing).
• Michael Froke, who was in foster care and never adopted. He now is an adoptive dad, and leads a large recovery ministry in Southern Oregon.

Cost: $100, which includes a popular CHOSEN hoodie. Some partial scholarships are available through Chosen.  Also, some churches are paying the tuition for teens from their church to attend.

CHOSEN board member (and popular adoption author/speaker) Sherrie Eldridge has said:

Something extraordinary happens when adoptees connect with one another, a reassurance of being understood, an unspoken bond, a feeling of camaraderie, a sense of belonging…

Cindy writes:

The adult adoptees that we have as speakers have an incredible way of relating to the teens…they help them process many of the emotions related to feelings of abandonment, rejection, shame and loss by sharing the way God has taken them through these feelings to claim their inheritance from Him.

For more info and to download a registration form, visit the Events page at www.choseninternational.org.

CHOSEN International is a faith based nonprofit organization providing educational, emotional and spiritual support to teen adoptees and their parents.

By Beckie Stewart
Guest Columnist

In her book, The Adoption Decision, Laura Christianson writes:

“When Caucasian families adopt children of a different ethnicity, they become a minority family.”

When I read this statement, it took me back to the journey our family made to receive this honorary status.

My husband and I were raised in families in which racist comments arose on a regular basis. Our adoption agency informed us that we had a high chance of being matched with a Eurasian daughter with our selection of Kazakhstan. A deep concern plagued me, especially as we waited for that first glance of our daughter. I later discovered that my fears regarding our family’s feelings were unmerited. Both sides of our family received our daughter with open arms.

Quite honestly, I had my own struggles in our choice to adopt a different ethnicity—struggles which had nothing to do with prejudice. The conflict within me focused on the attention I anticipated our daughter would receive due to her appearance compared to the rest of the family.

I feared constant questions and intrusion about her adoption. I dreaded people asking about the cost, but more then that, the continual focus on her being adopted.

I didn’t intend on withholding information about her adoption, but I feared the ceaseless reminder might cause insecurity and problems for her. I conquered some of this apprehension by helping her feel proud about being born in Kazakhstan and talking freely with her about it.

I also wondered how she would feel if someone accused us of not being her parents? While leaving an establishment with her at 18 months old, I received questions about her being my child.  My daughter wouldn’t identify me as her mother, but thankfully, my friend with me did. I discovered from that episode the importance in carrying an identification card for her. I never leave home without it now.

I found that admitting my own inner battle to others eased my concerns and helped me see that others wrestled with the same issues.  My daughter has been with us for a little over three years now, and I’m proud to be considered her mother—and a minority family.

Beckie Stewart is a regular guest columnist on Exploring Adoption. She also blogs at godsgraciousgems.blogspot.com.

By Beckie Stewart
Guest Columnist

The winter of 2005 proved to be the most frigid winter in fifty years in the northeastern land of Kazakhstan. Within minutes of being outside, the cold promised to sap the breath out of those who walked in its domain.

Nestled 700 kilometers southeast of Omsk, Russia, the city of Semipalatinsk's temperatures dropped below forty degrees Celsius at night. The opportunity to learn about the region our daughter was born in was kept to day when sunlight warded off the worst of the bone-chilling weather.

One particular afternoon following our visit with our daughter-to-be at the orphanage, my husband decided to finish up our souvenir shopping before returning to the apartment. I remained in the van with our driver, Pasha. A communication barrier loomed between us as neither one of us spoke anything but a few sporadic words of the other's language.

After my husband and the translator left, Pasha nodded his head, peeked through the rearview mirror at me, and gave a grin that displayed jagged spaced teeth with portions of silver and tan. He rocked his head back and forth and pointed to the two men. Wrapping his arms around his body, he chattered his teeth. With his voice raised at the end of his sentence, I knew he asked me a question.

Nodding my head, I circled my finger around the side of my head and said, “Yes. They are crazy. I have no desire to be out there.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes. We watched cars scurrying up and down the street. Some cars parked, and those dressed in proper winter gear exited out and preceded toward the outdoor shopping bazaar. This place with the best bargains for traditional Kazakhstan kitchenware as well as clothing provided safety from the frosty weather with only a tent covering.

Tugging the flaps of his hat, Pasha pointed to the various men and women who walked by in their long mink coats. He shook his head, “No,” as he pointed to his head, the others, and then at me. I understood by now that one wears a head covering under all circumstances, but especially during these severe weather conditions. I learned that the men wore either a mink tundra hat or a leather beret. The women wore fur hats that resembled a huge ball of animal hair. Regardless of the style, each hat included flaps so the ears were protected from the icy winds sweeping through them.

“I was too hot in here to keep my hat on,” I said. I waved my hand in front of my face, stuck out my tongue, and panted like a thirsty dog. Pasha laughed and turned down the heat and reached to touch my head. Not wishing to offend him in anyway, I put my hat back on.

“How do the ladies walk in those boots?” I asked Pasha as I lifted up my foot and pointed to the heels. “I would fall down and break my neck,” I said as I collapsed onto the seat and grabbed my neck.

Pasha chuckled, lifted his foot, and with force rammed his heel down to the floor.

“Well, that makes sense,” I said as I shook my head, “But I’m sure I’d still fall.” I dropped back down on the seat again. He laughed and fell down on the front seat. When he sat back up, we exchanged smiles with each other.

As Pasha asked me a question in Russian, he swung his arms and reached around his back and said my husband’s name.

I nodded as I recalled the evening my husband recollected to me about his experience at the men’s bathhouse with the Pasha and Darkhan, the translator.

“Oy! Oy!” he said several times.

“Yes. He said it hurt when you hit each other with the sticks,” I said as I swayed my hands like I cracked a whip.

Pasha’s smile disappeared and with hesitation in his words, I realized he was concerned that my husband didn’t enjoy his experience. I wrapped my arms around myself and smiled to assure him that he liked it. He seemed to comprehend my message as his colorful teeth gleamed from his mouth again.

Time quickly passed as we continued our game of charades with lots of laughs shared between us. The lesson I learned that day was that actions do speak louder than words.

Learn more about Beckie at God's Gracious Gems blog, and at her adoption foundation, Our Creator's Hope.

A reader just commented on my post, “Pros and Cons of Domestic vs. International Adoption.”

She writes:

I think that we should adopt from the US. I mean these kids in our country need help so why are we adopting from other countries? Because we think its cool? The “IT” thing?

By Beckie Stewart
Guest Columnist

I’m a mom of five children, but an adoptive mother to one.
I didn’t receive much information on my daughter’s birth mother, but I often think about her. I wish to honor her memory and the precious gift bestowed upon me because of her choices.

I imagine that when this young woman discovered she was pregnant, she asked, What do I do? What is the best decision?  

I envision her struggling with intense emotions…she is unmarried, and in Kazakhstan it is considered taboo to bear children out of wedlock…abortion is an option…she eventually makes the first difficult decision.  She chooses life for her unborn child.

On April eleventh, she makes her second difficult decision. She gives birth to a little girl with dark hair, dark eyes, and light brown skin. The baby weighs less than six pounds. This young mother decides to release her little girl for adoption. I believe she would choose to be with her baby forever, but she knows she cannot care for her without a home or job.

As she signs the papers, she takes special note of the butterfly birthmark on her daughter’s face. She knows that mark will allow her to recognize her daughter instantly should their paths ever cross.  

However, this young mother also knows that a family in Kazakhstan is not likely to adopt her baby due to this small imperfection. The thought of never seeing her daughter hurts deeply; nevertheless, she signs the forms to release her baby for adoption.

Ten days later, Aida is brought to the local orphanage where is cared for while her paperwork is processed on the local database. Little Aida waits three months before she is eligible for international adoption. During that time she becomes the favorite of several caretakers and is noted as the most active baby in the nursery.

 With temperatures below twenty degrees and the New Year holidays quickly approaching, my husband and I arrive in Kazakhstan.  We spend two hours with Aida each day for two weeks before we can petition the courts for her adoption. 

It takes forty days from start to finish, but finally she is declared our daughter.  We return to the USA and her four excited siblings, who are instantly enraptured with their baby sister. 

On Aida’s birthday each year, I say a prayer of thanksgiving for the young woman who chose life. I pray for her peace and salvation. Through the sacrifice of this young mother, I have come to understand just how much my Heavenly Father loves me.

What an incredible gift I have been given to be able to be called “Mommy” by Aida. 

Lena Wright, a fellow blogger who's waiting to adopt two brothers from Haiti, whom she met on a mission trip this summer, reviewed The Adoption Decision on her Adoption Adventure blog. 

Here are excerpts from her review:

Here's a cool YouTube video of kids at the orphanage in Haiti:

In Part 1, guest columnist Beckie Stewart, a mother of four children ranging in age from 12-19, explained how her life turned topsy-turvy when she added an adopted infant to the mix.

By Beckie Stewart

One of the biggest issues I struggled with prior to adoption was the fear that I may not love my adopted child as much as my biological children. I found myself unable to share this fear with anyone but the Lord. It was discussed in some books and magazines, but not a lot.

After months of collecting all the necessary paperwork and waiting for information on an available child for us to adopt, we received a picture and short biography about a little girl from Kazakhstan, who was waiting for a forever family. The moment her picture came up on my computer, my heart pounded with excitement. I found my feelings for her were just like the day I gave birth to my other children. I knew I would sacrifice my life for this child.

That realization helped me understand how much my Heavenly Father loved me when He adopted me into His family. I can now confidently say, like Paul did in Romans 8:38-39, that I am absolutely persuaded that nothing can separate me from the love that the Father has for me.

It does not matter whether my daughter was born from my womb or not. She is my daughter, and I am her mother. Biological or adoption, being a mommy to a child is born in the heart, not in the belly.

The Lord is using this child to solidify in my heart what it truly means to love my children and to be loved by Him.

Beckie and her pastor husband, Joe, have 4 biological children and 1 adopted from Kazakhstan. They have been married 23 years and have been serving the Lord in Delavan, Illinois for the last 6 ½ years. E-mail Becky at beckiejoe@gmail.com.
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By Beckie Stewart
Guest Columnist

Choices. We make them every day. Most have little impact upon the destiny of our lives, but some significantly alter our lives forever.

The decision my husband and I made to adopt our daughter was one of those choices in my life. As a mother of four ranging in ages from 12 to 19, the option to restart our family brought obvious modifications to my lifestyle.

My daily routine once again involved diapers, bottles, bibs, and eventually potty training. Every trip from the house meant carting along the paraphernalia for caring for a little one or finding a sitter for that cherished alone time. A trip to the theater with a toddler must include popcorn to make it through the entire movie. A meal at a restaurant means high chairs, cups with lids, and an examination of the restroom facilities.

Learning from experience

However, with this choice also comes a chance to discover whether I had learned anything from my previous parenting mistakes. What techniques would I use this time to feed my fussy eater? How would I deal with sleeping issues? What action would I take when she broke into a temper tantrum in the grocery store after receiving a “no”? 

I believed I would be wiser, and was shocked to realize how easy it was for me to cave in to my toddler’s loud outbursts in order to regain my peaceful atmosphere. It quickly dawned on me that this wasn’t going to be any easier the second time around. I still had a lot to learn, but was fortunate to have a husband who was stronger than me in this area. He said “no” and stuck to it, and she survived.

Remembering how quickly the years had passed, I did find that with a baby in my life, my world was filled with uninhibited cuddles, kisses, and hugs again. What a joy it has been to watch a shy, reserved infant blossom into a bubbling, outgoing toddler.

How special to have your child, who did not even understand your language, look at you and say, “Mommy, may I ask you a question?” 

When I nod “yes,” she says, “I love you, Mommy? Now you ask.”

In Part 2 of this article, Beckie will explain the fear she had about whether she’d be able to love her adopted daughter as much as she loves her biological children.

Beckie and her pastor husband, Joe, have 4 biological children and 1 adopted from Kazakhstan. They have been married 23 years and have been serving the Lord in Delavan, Illinois for the last 6 ½ years. You can e-mail Beckie: beckiejoe@gmail.com
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Some parents who are planning an international adoption assume that love alone will overcome the many challenges their child faced while living in an orphanage. This is usually not the case, as Beckie Stewart discovered when she adopted her 9-month-old daughter from Kazakhstan. Here, Beckie shares her story.

The Spring After Winter

By Beckie Stewart

The ice on the lake begins to thin and creaks and finally cracks. Spring follows winter and is all about new beginnings. It’s always been my favorite season, but it took on a whole new meaning when I adopted my little girl from Kazakhstan.

I brought her home during one of the coldest winters in fifty years in her country. The land had been covered with a thick blanket of white. The temperatures were frigid enough to cause icicles to form off the breath of the animals abandoned outside. If not properly covered, frostbite would grab ahold of exposed skin within five minutes.

 As cold as Kazakhstan was, so was the heart of my nine-month-old daughter. The first sign of this appeared just days before she was officially declared my daughter when she slammed her head into my chest.

She was not feeling well and was tired, but did not wish to be cuddled and encouraged to sleep. Within the first six weeks home, I received two black eyes from thrown toys and scratches upon my face and neck.

Making up for lost time

I was determined to help my little girl bond and work through her pent up emotions. I had received many ideas from my adoption agency as well as books I had read prior to her adoption. I was glad I did, because I had not faced these issues with my older children whom I gave birth to.

Even though she was nine months old, the orphanage still had her on a bottle. Because their bottles were glass, they did not allow the babies to hold their own bottles. So, for the first nine months home, I kept my daughter on a bottle and did not allow her to hold it for the first three months. I held her like a nursing infant and fed the bottle to her. Due to her low iron count, I also kept her on formula for the first six months. It was difficult being criticized by other moms, but I felt she needed what was not received the first nine months of her life from me.

Encouraging touch and bonding

To encourage touch and bonding, I gave her a bath every night. Our bath routine involved massaging her with lavender lotion. I took extra time rubbing the lotion on her hands and feet. It was wonderful watching her relax. I believe this time also encouraged her sleep time.

Restful sleep

She slept twelve hours each night and took two naps each day the first three months home. I was told she was sleeping to block out the new life she did not understand. I believe this was true, but it became a restful sleep for her instead of a restless sleep like those first ten days.

The lake begins to thaw

For that first year, my daughter’s heart remained as hard as a lake in winter. However, the evidence of spring has been emerging during this second year into our family.  

Unless she is being told “no,” she is filled with laughter and joy.

“Smile, Mommy,” she reminds me so many times in a day. She greets all she sees with a smile and, “I’m free.” A day does not go by when you will not hear a spontaneous, “I love you.” 

What fun it has been to watch this shy, timid infant blossom into a happy, carefree toddler!

Beckie Stewart is a mother of five, with her youngest adopted from Kazakhstan in January 2006. She is on the Board of Directors of Our Creator’s Hope, a ministry that raises funds to give grants to adopting families. Beckie writes devotions to encourage others at God’s Gracious Gems.
http://godsgraciousgems.blogspot.com

This article was previously published in Mommies Magazine and Christian Work At Home Moms. Reprinted with permission from the author.

Laura Christianson is accepting guest submissions for Exploring Adoption. If you have an adoption experience you’d like to share, please send it as a Word attachment to Laura. In the Subject line, write: Guest Column Submission for Exploring Adoption.

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On November 16, President Bush signed the United States’ Instrument of Ratification for the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption. This is the final procedural step for the United States to become a full member of the Hague Convention. The Hague Convention is expected to go into effect in the United States on April 1, 2008.

The Convention establishes international norms and procedures for intercountry adoption cases with other Hague Convention members. It mandates safeguards to protect the interests of children, birth parents, and adoptive parents. It also provides that member nations recognize adoptions that take place within other Hague Convention countries.

The major changes to intercountry adoptions under the Hague Convention are:

• The Department of State, designated as the “Central Authority” under the Hague Convention and the IAA, is responsible for ensuring that the Hague Convention and IAA requirements are followed.
• Accrediting entities designated by the Department of State must accredit any U.S. adoption service providers that will handle Convention adoption cases.
• The Department of State will maintain a centralized registry to track adoption cases and to receive complaints and comments about accredited adoption service providers.
• Outgoing intercountry adoption cases from the United States to other Hague Convention countries, such as Canada or Mexico, must also comply with the Convention and the IAA.

Source:
U.S. Department of State

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and
check out my Exploring
Adoption bookstore.