Guidelines for Group Sharing Based on the Quaker Model of Careful Listening

in Adoption & Infertility Ministry

This the ninth in a
series about adoption and infertility ministries. Parts 1-7 are posted April 3,
5, 7, 11, 18, 24, 28 and 29.

Today, I share guidelines that I’ve adapted and
used for many types of groups – they work great for just about any kind of
small group.

I strongly recommend appointing
a facilitator for your group who will monitor the clock and ensure that everyone receives an
equal opportunity to share, and who will steer participants back on subject
when they begin to “bird walk.”

  • The major activity of any small group sharing is grateful
    listening. Allow each person to finish his/her story. Please do not interrupt.
  • Speak of your own experience, wants, needs, desires,
    feelings. Avoid rescuing, problem
    solving, debating, offering advice, or feeling responsible for alleviating
    someone else’s pain.
  • Every person is an expert on his/her own experience.
  • After everyone who wishes to has had a chance to share, you
    may share a second time. Often, insights into your own experience will be gleaned
    through the sharing of others.
  • It is always okay to let the group know that you wish to
    pass. Silence speaks to us.
  • Listen empathetically. Use your nonverbal skills to
    communicate caring and concern. Do not ask a lot of questions of another person
    when he/she is sharing.
  • Remember . . .everything that is shared in our group is confidential. Please respect
    each other’s privacy and leave shared information in this room.

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