This the sixth in a
series about adoption and infertility ministries. Parts 1-3 (April 3, 5 &
7) explain how Heartbeat Ministry started, its mission and goals, and how we
created a library of resources. Parts 4 and 5 (April 11 & 18) detail why
infertility, in particular, is discussed so rarely in churches. Today I’ll give
you some ideas for how to recruit volunteers for your infertility/adoption
ministry.
Infertility has a devastating impact on the lives of those
who yearn for a child but are unable to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term. Infertile
couples in the church feel pulled two directions: they’re angry at what seems
to be God’s silence and disappointed that He seems passive when they need Him
most. Yet they’re also driven towards Him, reaching for the comfort that only
He can give, wanting to believe that He loves them and is in control of the circumstances
of their lives. It’s imperative that the church is a “safe” outlet where
infertile people feel accepted and understood.
The Heartbeat Ministry includes both infertile couples and
people who want to adopt. Not all
infertile couples go on to adopt, and not all adoptive parents are infertile,
but we felt that there are enough people who move between the two camps to make
having a combined ministry worthwhile.
Step 1: Share Your Journey Publicly
After creating our book lists and resource library, we were
ready to start looking for people to participate in the ministry. But as I
pointed out in the previous two entries in this series, infertile people are not exactly
anxious to announce their status. So I did a crazy thing. I volunteered to
share my own journey through infertility and adoption in front of the
congregation during the Sunday service. Let me rephrase: our church has five
services, each with around 1,000 people in attendance. Plus a radio broadcast.
So, essentially, I volunteered to announce my infertility to the world. Talk
about scary. Especially for an introvert like me. But God has taught me that
when I trust Him, He will work in ways I never imagined possible. During that
two-minute (times five) spiel in front of the congregation, God gave me
boldness and the courage to put my faith in action and to joyfully serve Him.
Step 2: Advertise Your Group’s Existence
Within two months, 50 people volunteered to become involved
with the Heartbeat Ministry. My recruitment methods weren’t the most
conventional. One woman volunteered after I backed into her car in the church
parking lot (unintentionally, of course). When I contacted her to pay the $900
damage I’d done to her bumper, I learned she was a social worker in the perinatal
unit of a local medical center. Another family who’d heard my talk at church
volunteered when I met them at the concession stand of a professional baseball
game. Most of our volunteers are people who fought their battles with
infertility or adoption in silence, but wanted to let others know that they
aren’t alone and that people do
understand.
Step 3: Match With Mentors
Our volunteers serve as mentors for others. If a couple is
investigating in vitro fertilization,
for instance, we match them up with at least one other couple who has gone
through the process. We do the same for people who plan to adopt. If a family
is considering adopting a child from Korea, we match them up with a family who has adopted from Korea. Our goal is to provide mentors who represent the gamut of fertility treatments
and adoption methods. We also rely on the expertise of volunteer health
professionals, social workers and adoption attorneys.
Mentors and the people they care for mutually agree on the
type of relationship they want. Sometimes, a few phone calls suffice. Others form
long-term friendships or start a support group. We haven’t yet established
formal training sessions for mentors; we rely on the fact that a mentor’s
experience with the physical, emotional and financial ups and downs of
infertility and/or adoption equips them to be sensitive to the needs of others
in the same situation.