Mental preparation is a must for anyone who plans to survive
the frenetic pace of holiday family gatherings. This is particularly true for
an estimated 6 million infertile American women, who’d rather be decorating the
nursery than decking the halls. For women who struggle to conceive a child,
family festivities intensify feelings of isolation and grief.
If the thought of babies being dandled by fawning relatives
is enough to make you burst into tears and run for cover, try some of the
following alternatives. You’ll not only survive the holidays with your sanity
intact; you may even enjoy them.
Brag about Bowser.
Write a holiday newsletter from the perspective of your cat, dog, iguana or
ferret. Detail the events of your pet’s year. Include pictures. Send it to
everyone you know.
Avoid child-oriented
events. Send a note or special gift to the hosts, graciously declining
their invitation. Console yourself the evening of the party by building a fire
(or sitting in front of a toasty oven) and reading books by Erma Bombeck, Dave
Barry or Andy Rooney.
Leave home. Take
a mini vacation with your spouse to a romantic bed and breakfast inn. Make your
relationship – not your baby quest – top priority for an entire weekend. Remind
each other that it doesn’t take a child to make a family; you and your partner
are a family already.
Learn a winter sport
together. Cross-country ski, ice skate or snowshoe. They’re inexpensive,
relatively safe, and emotionally refreshing.
Get crafty. Knit
scarves, design jewelry or construct wooden paper towel holders. Sell them at a
holiday bazaar.
Be spontaneous.
Join a group of Christmas carolers and sing at your neighborhood nursing home.
Reach out. Invite
another childless couple over to craft clay ornaments, bake cookies, or string
popcorn for the tree.
Love others.
Spend Christmas Eve serving at the local soup kitchen, mission, or shelter.
Write a love letter
to your spouse. Thank him or her for being part of your life, for loving
you through the ups and downs. Wrap the letter in festive paper and present it
to your spouse as a special gift.
You’ll find additional suggestions for how to cope with holiday-related stress in an article by Teri Brown: "Clomid for Christmas: Surviving Medical Treatments During the Holidays." Check it out at preconception.com.
For more news and information about
adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com,
and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.