This is the last in a
three-part series about the adoption home study process. Parts 1 and 2 were
posted January 11 and 12, 2006.
Perhaps you’ve experienced fertility challenges. Or you live with a chronic medical condition. Maybe you have battled depression. Or you abused drugs or alcohol. You’re reluctant to begin the adoption home
study, fearing that you’ll be turned down because of the "issues" you’ve experienced.
Don’t be too hard on yourself – your adoption social worker
isn’t out to get you. Her goal isn’t to find ways to turn you down, but rather,
to find ways to say “yes.”
There are very few insurmountable issues that prohibit a
person from adopting. Your social worker is well aware of the fact that
everybody faces adversity. She’s most interested in learning what your
particular issues are and how they might affect your parenting. She wants to
know how you’ll manage your parenting as you continue to work through the
issues.
As you fill out the reams of paperwork required during the
adoption home study, it’s critical that you be honest. If you withhold
information and your social worker learns that you’ve been untruthful, that
will likely have a big impact on her decision about whether to approve your
home study.
Once she’s aware of the issues, your social worker will help
you work through them. If she has concerns about your readiness to adopt, she
will share them with you early on in the home study process (she won’t surprise
you by waiting until the home study is complete and then write a “bad” report).
She may recommend that you take additional time to resolve your issues before
adopting, but the fact that issues exist does not mean that your application to
adopt will be denied.
One of the signs of a good parent is the ability to deal
with adversity. If you honestly describe to your social worker the ways in
which you’ve navigated difficulties, she will likely feel confident that when
parenting throws you curves, you will be okay.
For more information about adoption, visit my Web site, www.laurachristianson.com
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
A thought: Does infertility make somebody’s past “less than perfect?”
I don’t think most infertiles equate infertility with drug and/or alcohol abuse or something else that would preclude them from adoption. I think this was more of a silly throwback to the 50’s when adoption professionals thought that “hysteria” caused infertility.
I guess that came out wrong. I didn’t intend to equate infertility with being “less than perfect.” Each of the items in that list are meant to stand alone, as they all represent “issues” that prospective parents fear might prohibit them from being accepted to adopt. Think I need to revise that sentence.
I don’t see how having infertility problems can even go into the same catagory as drugs and alcohol. Just because you may be infertal does not mean you have issues.