A reader just commented on my post, “Pros and Cons of Domestic vs. International Adoption.”
She writes:
I think that we should adopt from the US. I mean these kids in our country need help so why are we adopting from other countries? Because we think its cool? The “IT” thing?
There are sooo many kids here in the states that are living in orphanages and without families. It’s way easier to adopt from the US too and it could maybe boost up the economy a little bit more.
I agree with you, reader, in that there are a ton of kids in foster care who are waiting to be adopted (over 115,000 at last count). There are also over 150 MILLION orphans worldwide (most of whom will never be adopted for various reasons).As for it being “easier” to adopt from the US, that’s debatable. No form of adoption easy.And boosting the economy? I thought I’d heard every argument in the book regarding whether to adopt, but that’s a new one to me. If massive amounts of kids exited foster care, thus removing the expenditures the states make on behalf of foster children, that could help boost the economy.
But let’s address the heart of this reader’s issue:
Is intercountry adoption merely the “it” thing to do? Or is there a deeper, greater purpose?
Would those of you who have adopted from other countries or are in the process of doing so please share your thoughts? Let’s learn with and from one another!
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
When we started to go down the road of adoption, ours wasn’t a straight path. We knew many options existed. Domestic or international. If domestic do we foster to adopt or privately adopt, open or closed? If International where and why?
The first time adoption popped into my head the word Guatemala was there right with it. I had no idea why. Every time I’d think about it – I felt a physical tugging at my heart. My heart was telling me where to adopt.
What I didn’t realize at the time that my heart and soul did was that we had to adopt from Guatemala because that was where our son was about to be born.
Not because we thought having a Latino child was cool and hip.
Not because the celebrities are all doing it.
Not because we don’t like America or American children.
We had to adopt from Guatemala because that was where our son was… plain and simple.
Anyone judging how someone else builds their family is a pretty bold thing to do. Adding the economy and celebrities into the perceived decision making is even harder to understand. The people you are talking about are not fictional TV sitcom actors.
We initially looked at adopting from Russia because I have Lithuanian heritage. I thought sharing a somewhat common ancestry would be good to promote bonding and closeness.
We ended up adopting domestically, through a facilitator, mostly because we couldn’t do the travel to Russia. (I have a disability.)
A lot of people I know have adopted internationally because they felt “called” to do so. Anyone who tries to adopt because it’s “IN” probably wouldn’t pass a home study.
Because it is the “in” thing to do? Of course we invested $20,000, a second mortgage, and a year of lives in fear of losing our daughter because it was the “in” thing to do. This reader was either out of touch with reality or insensitive. I am not sure which. Here is a brief description of our thought process over 7 years. As you will see this is not the kind of decision that you make because it is the “in” thing to do.
Hazel and I made up our minds to adopt during the Christmas holiday in 1999. We had been exploring adoption for over 7 years but had not made the decision to move ahead. We had taken the state adoption classes and visited adoption agencies. David had been asking for a little sister for that whole 7 years.
A decision like adoption is a big decision both financially and as a change for the family. I also had to be comfortable starting a new family at 48. Once we made the decision, and that decision was amazingly easy to make, we started to explore the culture from which we wanted to adopt. As a first step, we chose an adoption agency. We chose Plan Loving Adoptions.
• We had close friends that had adopted through Plan and had gone to fund raisers for Plan and felt they were an outstanding agency.
• Second, Plan is close to us and we had met with them and felt very comfortable with them. We trusted them.
• They had programs in the countries we were interested in and had 25 years of experience and dedication to adoption.
• The director and a group of three other families had started Plan over 26 years earlier and had an extraordinary passion for uniting children with loving families.
As a second step, we explored the culture from which we wanted to adopt. We felt very strongly that we wanted to adopt from a culture in which we were interested. We believe that to acculturate a child in their native culture, you will need to be interested in that culture. This was a personal decision but we narrowed it down to China and India.
We decided that we wanted to adopt from India and we were fortunate that Plan has a long history working with India. We chose India for several reasons, one of those reasons was that we had friends who worked with me from India and I felt very comfortable with them and the culture.
In the end, if we could afford to adopt more children, we would. It is a very exciting and worthwhile process. We are going to be the lucky ones. Being able to raise a little girl is something we have wanted to do for years.
I personally haven’t adopted internationally, however I do agree with arguments on both sides. My biggest objective to international adoption would the fact that many people adopt overseas because they see celebrities doing it. I think some people have a distorted view of where the help needs to be. While, others have harsh living conditions… the U.S. does too and there are children within the U.S. living in similar conditions. So why not adopt them? Is it because of the red tape? Merely the convenience of not dealing with the long waiting lines? Or because it’s become a “trend?” I think people shouldn’t be objected to either type, however I think people shouldn’t give up on the kids in the U.S. That being said, I think the U.S. needs to rethink the process of adoption in our country. While extensive background checks and such should take place to ensure the child a loving and safe home, it shouldn’t be impossible and it surely shouldn’t take YEARS. If we want these kids to really find homes, we need to put their best interest at heart and work a little harder to get these problems fixed and quickly. All children deserve love, therefore, all children from every country should be adopted.